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by Spark Wonup
Lawrence Eagle Tribune
One day after filling in for injured starting HB Harris Mahoney and leading the Phantoms to their first ever Imperial Bowl victory with 142 yards from scrimmage Bucky Beaver has decided to call it quits a mere 7 seasons into his professional football career.
Beaver is rumored to have joined a cult in Nebraska but he appears visibly shaken by the description.
"We're not a cult." he stated adamantly. "We're a group of people who share radically different ideas than the outside world."
Uuuh huh.
"It's like say your camel's got an ingrown toe-nail... how can you expect your VCR to work?!?! With people it's the same thing."
Uh... ooooo k.
"There's fish all over the world yet the grass is still green in Ireland."
Right. So about football and your decision to walk away so young?
"I did all you can hope for in a career. I just did it in a shorter time than most. I was the 'hot rookie'. I led a team as a feature back. I was a back-up. And I won a Championship. Now it's on to other things."
And those would be?
"Oh a gazelle never tells a gorilla where he hides his eggs!," smiles a very bewildering ex-IFL half-back.
For the next couple of hours I listened to more of the same of what I thought was amusing jibberish at best but at some point it hit me: This was not a mentally disturbed man who had finally gotten a ring and was now ready to move on. This was a man, a man I might never be able to understand, but who had somewhere along the line found his path and was following it no matter what. He just now happened to have a ring to take on the journey.
Farewell Bucky. We'll miss you you strange mofo.
Lawrence Eagle Tribune
One day after filling in for injured starting HB Harris Mahoney and leading the Phantoms to their first ever Imperial Bowl victory with 142 yards from scrimmage Bucky Beaver has decided to call it quits a mere 7 seasons into his professional football career.
Beaver is rumored to have joined a cult in Nebraska but he appears visibly shaken by the description.
"We're not a cult." he stated adamantly. "We're a group of people who share radically different ideas than the outside world."
Uuuh huh.
"It's like say your camel's got an ingrown toe-nail... how can you expect your VCR to work?!?! With people it's the same thing."
Uh... ooooo k.
"There's fish all over the world yet the grass is still green in Ireland."
Right. So about football and your decision to walk away so young?
"I did all you can hope for in a career. I just did it in a shorter time than most. I was the 'hot rookie'. I led a team as a feature back. I was a back-up. And I won a Championship. Now it's on to other things."
And those would be?
"Oh a gazelle never tells a gorilla where he hides his eggs!," smiles a very bewildering ex-IFL half-back.
For the next couple of hours I listened to more of the same of what I thought was amusing jibberish at best but at some point it hit me: This was not a mentally disturbed man who had finally gotten a ring and was now ready to move on. This was a man, a man I might never be able to understand, but who had somewhere along the line found his path and was following it no matter what. He just now happened to have a ring to take on the journey.
Farewell Bucky. We'll miss you you strange mofo.
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