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As is tradition, a few of us met and mocked the 1st round of the draft. Madison was M.I.A. this year:
| Pick | Team | Actual Pick | Vancouver Pick | Vegas Pick | Tijuana Pick |
| 1 - 1 (1) | West Virginia * (10 min) | QB Glenn Pierce | QB Glenn Pierce | QB Glenn Pierce | QB Glenn Pierce |
| 1 - 2 (2) | Kansas City * | QB J.R Gardner | QB J.R Gardner | QB J.R. Gardner | QB J.R Gardner |
| 1 - 3 (3) | Montreal | QB J.C. Covington | QB J.C. Covington | DT Shaquille Tyler | CB Allen Rautalahti |
| 1 - 4 (4) | Orlando * | DE Gilbert Freeman | LT Devin "Big Fig" Newton | CB Allen Rautalahti | TE Ezra Alston |
| 1 - 5 (5) | McAllen | LT Devin Newton | QB Rex O'Neill | QB J.C. Covington | QB J.C. Covington |
| 1 - 6 (6) | McAllen | DT Shaquille Tyler | G Earl Jordon | CB Caden Shea | G Earl Jordon |
| 1 - 7 (7) | Hartford | CB Caden Shea | WR Alonzo Sporer | QB Rex O'Neill | T Devin Newton |
| 1 - 8 (8) | State College | CB Allen Rautalahti | LT Ernest "Pliney The" Elder | CB Jesse Oulette | T Earnest "Respect Yo" Elder |
| 1 - 9 (9) | Norfolk | G Earl Jordan | CB Allen Rautalahti | T Devin Newton | DT Shaquille Tyler |
| 1 - 10 (10) | Dakota * | DE Isaac Millons | TE Ezra Alston | G Earl Jordan | G C.J. Taylor |
| 1 - 11 (11) | Boston | TE Ezra Alston | CB Caden Shea | TE Ezra Alston | RB Shaun Cromwell |
| 1 - 12 (12) | Orlando * | T Earnest Elder | G C.J. Taylor | LT Earnest Elder | LB Nathan "Apple" Ipock |
| 1 - 13 (13) | Hartford | RB Shaun Cromwell | CB Cole Mcelroy | CB Cole McElroy | LB Corbin Caniglia |
| 1 - 14 (14) | Horsetooth | WR Robert Floyd | WR Robert "Pink" Floyd | DE Ross Bradford | WR Robert Floyd |
| 1 - 15 (15) | London * | DT Zach Bennett | DE Ross Bradford | WR Robert Floyd | C Wesley Jeffries |
| 1 - 16 (16) | Las Vegas | G C.J. Taylor | LB Nathan Ipock | WR Alonzo Sporer | CB Everett Benson |
| 1 - 17 (17) | Georgia | T Leland Dunn | LB Corbin Caniglia | LB Corbin Caniglia | CB Caden Shea |
| 1 - 18 (18) | Portland (OR) * | CB Jessie Ouelette | T Dalton Wick | CB Billy Hardy | T Dalton "John" Wick |
| 1 - 19 (19) | Colorado | DE Ross Bradford | DT Shaquille Tyler | G C.J. Taylor | DE Ross Bradford |
| 1 - 20 (20) | Norfolk | CB Cole McElroy | CB Kelly Valentino | S Michael Newsome | QB Rex O'Neill |
| 1 - 21 (21) | Raleigh | QB Rex O'Neill | DE Isaac Millons | LT Leland Dunn | T Donovan Bailey |
| 1 - 22 (22) | Columbia * | WR Alonzo Sporer | CB Jessie "The Omelette" Ouelette | LB Sebastian Boyle | LB Santiago Malbrough |
| 1 - 23 (23) | Tijuana | LB Corbin Caniglia | CB Everett Benson | CB Everett Benson | LB Sebastian Boyle |
| 1 - 24 (24) | Las Vegas | LB Sebastian Boyle | RB Shaun Cromwell | RB Shaun Cromwell | T Leland Dunn |
| 1 - 25 (25) | San Antonio * | LB Alan Wilson | LT Leland Dunn | ILB Nathan Ipock | LB Alan Wilson |
| 1 - 26 (26) | Alaska | S Michael Newsome | DE Gilbert Freeman | CB Kelly Valentino | DT Zach Bennett |
| 1 - 27 (27) | Colorado | LB Santiago Malbrough | FB Alfred Chapman | ILB Broderick Cooley | FB Alfred Chapman |
| 1 - 28 (28) | Tijuana | FB Alfred Chapman | DE Carlton "Milton" Bradley | RT Dalton Wick | DE Carlton "Milton" Bradley |
| 1 - 29 (29) | Boston | ILB Nathan Ipock | WR Marco "Polo" Ragan | WR Marco "Nancy" Ragan | DT Zach Bennett |
| 1 - 30 (30) | Murfreesboro | WR Nathan Farr | LB Alan Wilson | DE Isaac Milons | LB Everett Pritchett |
| 1 - 31 (31) | Iowa City * | DT Neil Andersen | LB Sebastian "Nikolaj" Boyle | DE Gilbert Freeman | DE Gilbert Freeman |
| 1 - 32 (32) | Vancouver | C Wesley Jeffries | S Michael Newsome | WR Nathan Farr | WR Marco "Ronald" Ragan |
| correct picks: | 4 | 4 | 5 |
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