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Boston Dragons beat reporter Peter Gammons expressed relief today only a week after postponing his nick-naming of the Dragons' potent defensive line. During Boston's last home game, a rowdy disturbance in the south end of the stadium forced Gammons and all other pregame participants off the field for security measures. The stadium's south end, known for its soccer hooligan atmosphere, erupted when an advertising executive attempted to "Coca-Cola-ize" the front row of the South end lower-level seating known in Boston as the Dragon's S--thouse. The ad exec who tried to place mini Coca-Cola helmets on the heads of front row patrons has yet to recover from his injuries. The "S--thouse", taking its name in answer to Boston DT Maximo Abshire (who asked the now famous question, "If this house is the Dragon's Lair, then where do he s--t?), is known as an area of the stadium, according to one season ticket holder as "really hostile to Lattes and Italian ties."
Gammons admitted he had yet to select a name when the melee happened. "I had it narrowed down," Gammons told reporters. "I was just going to offer the first one that popped into my head."
Upon badgering by the press, Gammons revealed some of his choices. He listed Line of Fire as his personal favorite but admitted that some of his colleagues at ESPN had more colorful names. The Boston D-Party and Boston Baked Means were the only other two he offered. "It's all irrelevant anyway," Gammons said, "considering Connors will miss another year and a half."
Gammons was referring to the reinjury to Connors' knee. The original injury had kept Connor out for more than year.
In a related story, Connors expressed anguish at the pink nametag teammates had pasted over his locker's black-and-gold nameplate. "They're just not playing nice," he said, before he began to cry.
Ten Boston players who wished to remain anonymous, have privately begun calling him 'Pink' Connors and have filled his locker each of the last three days with women's underthings. Boston, with perhaps the best overall defensive line in the league when healthy, will have to try to expand upon this season's 4-0-1 start without Connors. "A nickname for our defensive line?" said Coach Harvey when asked about Gammons' efforts. "How about Three Men and a Little Lady?"
"It makes me really sad for those guys to go out there without me," Connors told reporters. "Really sad. But they don't have to call me a girl." His further comments were inaudible because of his weeping.
Pop star Pink could not be reached for comment.
Gammons admitted he had yet to select a name when the melee happened. "I had it narrowed down," Gammons told reporters. "I was just going to offer the first one that popped into my head."
Upon badgering by the press, Gammons revealed some of his choices. He listed Line of Fire as his personal favorite but admitted that some of his colleagues at ESPN had more colorful names. The Boston D-Party and Boston Baked Means were the only other two he offered. "It's all irrelevant anyway," Gammons said, "considering Connors will miss another year and a half."
Gammons was referring to the reinjury to Connors' knee. The original injury had kept Connor out for more than year.
In a related story, Connors expressed anguish at the pink nametag teammates had pasted over his locker's black-and-gold nameplate. "They're just not playing nice," he said, before he began to cry.
Ten Boston players who wished to remain anonymous, have privately begun calling him 'Pink' Connors and have filled his locker each of the last three days with women's underthings. Boston, with perhaps the best overall defensive line in the league when healthy, will have to try to expand upon this season's 4-0-1 start without Connors. "A nickname for our defensive line?" said Coach Harvey when asked about Gammons' efforts. "How about Three Men and a Little Lady?"
"It makes me really sad for those guys to go out there without me," Connors told reporters. "Really sad. But they don't have to call me a girl." His further comments were inaudible because of his weeping.
Pop star Pink could not be reached for comment.
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