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Today* we sit with another guest in our ever-growing segment Better Know an IFL District!, the wizard behind one of the IFL's deadliest aerial attacks, Morellomre! Morellomre runs a team that's hit a bit of a slump this season but could drop a 45-17 beatdown on any team in the league on any given day: The Fightin' Ogres!!!
SC: First off how do you pronounce your name? I can't run a show without knowing such things.
M: "More – ello – M – R – E." You could go just keep it "Morello" for short. Or "Studmuffin", whichever you prefer.
SC: Studmuffin, you've made it to the post-season 3 out of 3 times lately and been ousted in the divisionals against an NC South team, Tulsa specifically the past two seasons. Bad taste in your mouth or yesterday's news?
M: I would be lieing if I said they didn’t leave a bad taste. In 2012 we had toppled Texas in the regular season to give them their first loss, so we were quite confident. And the last two years we had brutal wars against Tulsa. All 3 losses were heart-breaking . Don’t get me wrong, I do not feel as if we were cheated..both teams deserved to win all 3 of those games the way they were played. Those games the ball just didn’t bounce our way.
SC: Your division is never easy due in large part to no weak team regardless of which season it is. Best division in the IFL?
M: There are quite a few good division’s with great GM’s so I can’t go ahead and say we are the best. However, I do feel pretty confident saying the NC North may be the most competitive divison of them all. Year in and year out there is never a ‘lock’ to win the division, always 2 or 3 of the teams are battling for #1. And just when it seems that the division race is shaping up, the ‘down’ team in the division upsets one of the leaders and the whole race turned on its side. I really have to give credit to the other GM’s in the divison – the competition forces our teams to better.
SC: Who has the best fries: McD's, BK, Wendy's? And this is televised so you better give me an entertaining story to go along with it!
M: If I don’t say McDonalds, Gene [Hamiton] may demand a trade. You see, one off season Gene was vacationing in Jamaica where apparently he ran into world class sprinter, Usain Bolt. For those of you who don’t know, when Usain Bolt set the world record and won the 100 meter dash in the Beijing Olympics his pre-race meal was McDonalds Nuggets and Fries. So ever since that trip Gene’s pregame meal has been – you guessed it – McDonalds Nuggets and Fries. Some players think that McD’s may have some mythical ingredient, and have been converted to his diet. Others point to Hamilton’s van and think he may just have pregame ‘munchies’(see Hamilton’s ride below). In the front office we don’t care, just as long as he keeps winning.
SC: Speaking of Gene Hamilton: The window's closing.
M: You ain’t kidding.
SC: Is he one of the best ever if he doesn't have the matching jewelry to reflect it?
M: He should definitely be in the discussion. He doesn’t just put up huge numbers, he is a true MVP..he has, and still does carry the team. Some may argue to be the best he should carry the team to a championship. I argue that, he carries a whole unit (offense)..what more could you ask for from one guy?
SC: You appear uber-confident in Hamilton's ability to resist injury as evident by your lack of a #2 QB. Is that based on his avoid rush skills, the Lansing OLine, or something else?
M: I’m confident in his skills to avoid the rush..you don’t become one of the all-time greats without great pocket presence and an ability to sense pressure. We’ve also built our line with the goal to protect him, looking for guys who excel at pass protection. They have worked out pretty well and develop a great rapport with Gene. Can’t really ask for much more.
SC: morellomre, I've got to be honest and hit you hard. It's my duty as a journalist. So...
Sherman Jarvis has had more TDs than drops only once in his career and leads the IFL all-time in drops despite his jaw-dropping numbers in other areas. True IFL stud WR or "Pippen" to Gene Hamilton's "Jordan"?
M: Great question. I would say BOTH are true. Follow me for one hot minute and you’ll see what I am saying. If you give Hamilton no weapons then your not reaching his full potential. Same goes for Jarvis. But, if you match a world class QB with a world class WR then they can fulfill all their potential. Jordan had Pippen. Malone had Stockten. Shaq had Kobe. Bird had McHale. I can go on and on. You need that just as talented guy to bring out all the potential for BOTH. So by being a "Pippen" to Hamilton’s "Jordan" it allowed Jarvis to play to his ability of being one of the most prolific receivers in the league history.
SC: Which defender could you least afford to lose?
M: Alvin Wolfe. We are a pass-happy league and the easiest way to keep an opposing QB from torching you is by keeping his butt on the ground. Alvin Wolfe is a bigtime pass-rusher and brings this element to the table for us. Some may argue a shutdown corner is more valuable – but I argue he only shuts down one receiver, what about the rest of the group? You don’t have to worry about a pass when a QB is on his ass. Can we curse on this show?
SC: Only in mode-fuckin'-ration.
SC: In a new feature to our program we're taking an email from a local Lansing resident. Are you ready?
Email reads: "You're holding 2 FBs on our team and they both should be unemployed. What gives?"
M: Of all the things to harp on you’re going to bring up our FB’s? Not our aging D? Our lack of a #2 WR? Our self admittenly ridiculous bonus to Willie Cash? Our lack of an understudy to Hamilton? How should I even answer this? Our offensive philosophy doesn’t stress the FB all that much. We’re happy with Hammond and Doran and what they bring to the team. Thanks you for asking such an important question.
SC: Jimmy, can we get another question from the fans? A better question perhaps?
What? We have no more questions from fans to choose from? Well, aren't we prepared!
SC: As always to end the interview: If you could stand in front of the IFL and make one insightful point. What would it be?
M: To all of our opponents: You know you are in awe of Hamilton. He is a man among boys. A true legend. But a legend without a championship. How about a charitable contribution to your favorite QB by playing your back ups when we come to town. You’ve heard of "Win one for the gipper," well this is "Throw one for the Gene’r." He went to school at Air Force, so NOT throwing the game could be considered unpatriotic.
SC: Well folks that's all the time we have. In fact we've gone over our allotted time so we'll have no musical guest for the people at home tonight. See you next time!
*This show is actually tape delayed from earlier this season.
SC: First off how do you pronounce your name? I can't run a show without knowing such things.
M: "More – ello – M – R – E." You could go just keep it "Morello" for short. Or "Studmuffin", whichever you prefer.
SC: Studmuffin, you've made it to the post-season 3 out of 3 times lately and been ousted in the divisionals against an NC South team, Tulsa specifically the past two seasons. Bad taste in your mouth or yesterday's news?
M: I would be lieing if I said they didn’t leave a bad taste. In 2012 we had toppled Texas in the regular season to give them their first loss, so we were quite confident. And the last two years we had brutal wars against Tulsa. All 3 losses were heart-breaking . Don’t get me wrong, I do not feel as if we were cheated..both teams deserved to win all 3 of those games the way they were played. Those games the ball just didn’t bounce our way.
SC: Your division is never easy due in large part to no weak team regardless of which season it is. Best division in the IFL?
M: There are quite a few good division’s with great GM’s so I can’t go ahead and say we are the best. However, I do feel pretty confident saying the NC North may be the most competitive divison of them all. Year in and year out there is never a ‘lock’ to win the division, always 2 or 3 of the teams are battling for #1. And just when it seems that the division race is shaping up, the ‘down’ team in the division upsets one of the leaders and the whole race turned on its side. I really have to give credit to the other GM’s in the divison – the competition forces our teams to better.
SC: Who has the best fries: McD's, BK, Wendy's? And this is televised so you better give me an entertaining story to go along with it!
M: If I don’t say McDonalds, Gene [Hamiton] may demand a trade. You see, one off season Gene was vacationing in Jamaica where apparently he ran into world class sprinter, Usain Bolt. For those of you who don’t know, when Usain Bolt set the world record and won the 100 meter dash in the Beijing Olympics his pre-race meal was McDonalds Nuggets and Fries. So ever since that trip Gene’s pregame meal has been – you guessed it – McDonalds Nuggets and Fries. Some players think that McD’s may have some mythical ingredient, and have been converted to his diet. Others point to Hamilton’s van and think he may just have pregame ‘munchies’(see Hamilton’s ride below). In the front office we don’t care, just as long as he keeps winning.
SC: Speaking of Gene Hamilton: The window's closing.
M: You ain’t kidding.
SC: Is he one of the best ever if he doesn't have the matching jewelry to reflect it?
M: He should definitely be in the discussion. He doesn’t just put up huge numbers, he is a true MVP..he has, and still does carry the team. Some may argue to be the best he should carry the team to a championship. I argue that, he carries a whole unit (offense)..what more could you ask for from one guy?
SC: You appear uber-confident in Hamilton's ability to resist injury as evident by your lack of a #2 QB. Is that based on his avoid rush skills, the Lansing OLine, or something else?
M: I’m confident in his skills to avoid the rush..you don’t become one of the all-time greats without great pocket presence and an ability to sense pressure. We’ve also built our line with the goal to protect him, looking for guys who excel at pass protection. They have worked out pretty well and develop a great rapport with Gene. Can’t really ask for much more.
SC: morellomre, I've got to be honest and hit you hard. It's my duty as a journalist. So...
Sherman Jarvis has had more TDs than drops only once in his career and leads the IFL all-time in drops despite his jaw-dropping numbers in other areas. True IFL stud WR or "Pippen" to Gene Hamilton's "Jordan"?
M: Great question. I would say BOTH are true. Follow me for one hot minute and you’ll see what I am saying. If you give Hamilton no weapons then your not reaching his full potential. Same goes for Jarvis. But, if you match a world class QB with a world class WR then they can fulfill all their potential. Jordan had Pippen. Malone had Stockten. Shaq had Kobe. Bird had McHale. I can go on and on. You need that just as talented guy to bring out all the potential for BOTH. So by being a "Pippen" to Hamilton’s "Jordan" it allowed Jarvis to play to his ability of being one of the most prolific receivers in the league history.
SC: Which defender could you least afford to lose?
M: Alvin Wolfe. We are a pass-happy league and the easiest way to keep an opposing QB from torching you is by keeping his butt on the ground. Alvin Wolfe is a bigtime pass-rusher and brings this element to the table for us. Some may argue a shutdown corner is more valuable – but I argue he only shuts down one receiver, what about the rest of the group? You don’t have to worry about a pass when a QB is on his ass. Can we curse on this show?
SC: Only in mode-fuckin'-ration.
SC: In a new feature to our program we're taking an email from a local Lansing resident. Are you ready?
Email reads: "You're holding 2 FBs on our team and they both should be unemployed. What gives?"
M: Of all the things to harp on you’re going to bring up our FB’s? Not our aging D? Our lack of a #2 WR? Our self admittenly ridiculous bonus to Willie Cash? Our lack of an understudy to Hamilton? How should I even answer this? Our offensive philosophy doesn’t stress the FB all that much. We’re happy with Hammond and Doran and what they bring to the team. Thanks you for asking such an important question.
SC: Jimmy, can we get another question from the fans? A better question perhaps?
What? We have no more questions from fans to choose from? Well, aren't we prepared!
SC: As always to end the interview: If you could stand in front of the IFL and make one insightful point. What would it be?
M: To all of our opponents: You know you are in awe of Hamilton. He is a man among boys. A true legend. But a legend without a championship. How about a charitable contribution to your favorite QB by playing your back ups when we come to town. You’ve heard of "Win one for the gipper," well this is "Throw one for the Gene’r." He went to school at Air Force, so NOT throwing the game could be considered unpatriotic.
SC: Well folks that's all the time we have. In fact we've gone over our allotted time so we'll have no musical guest for the people at home tonight. See you next time!
*This show is actually tape delayed from earlier this season.
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