Last week I made my debut as a media member of the Imperial Football League, and since then my popularity has blown up. I show people my hand with the thumb out, and they know me. They love me. I am a hit, I am Pinky Del Nacho. They ask for a picture with my thumb. I even had one woman ask for a picture with my thumb IN her. The point of telling you this is because these people, once the shock and awe of my fame has passed, start in on asking me questions about the IFL. Some of them are pretty good, so I thought I would share.
Q. Why are the Mules still giving the ball to FB Sheldon Mendez?
This kid with big ears (no wonder he’s a Mules fan) from Jackson, TN asked me this. He worked at an Arbys there, and since I didn’t want snot in my roast beef sandwich I tried to humor him some. I see his point though. Several years back when Mendez was the only guy who could manage over 3 yards a carry it worked. Now though, they have Scott Fortune, a #1 overall pick a few years back. Fortune has over 1300 yards the last two years. He has his best YPC of his career right now at 4.57. All this and at the current pace his season totals carries is on pace to decrease for the second year in a row. It is true that Mendez’s carries are down, too. So is his YPC though, to under 3.0. In the red zone though, he has just as many carries as Fortune though, but his YPC there is half of Fortunes. I told this kid that maybe Fortune would have a rushing TD this season if Mendez was opening holes for him in the red zone, something Mendez is pretty good at doing when asked.
Q. Is Hugh Whiting going to be cut by the Houston Renegades?
About half way between Lufkin, TX and Houston, TX is a town called Livingston. In this little town I had a guy pick me to give me a ride as I was heading out of Houston. After a 20 minute block of Lynard Skynard, he turned down the radio to talk football. He pointed out that Hugh Whiting, the Houston Renegades kicker, is having a horrible season. After 8 games he has made only 6 of 15 field goals, and is 1 of 9 from 40 yards plus. After a career high of 78.1% of kicks made last year, he is at 40% this year. OUCH! I guess it’s his luck that he has not cost Houston a game with one of these missed kicks. If that starts happening, I told this guy, then Houston may look to move him out of town quickly. Other then that though, it’s hard to say what Houston will do with the guy.
Q. Do you think that prick, Bryant Gaddis, is on that HGH stuff or something?
Ok, sorry for those of you who are not Lawrence, Newark, or Orlando fans. Those guys just do not like Gaddis. Gaddis is of course a Vermont player, their free safety. I think it was a Lawrence fan who asked me this question, but I think a Newark fan asked me a couple days later. So they both get credit. On to Gaddis though. For seven years the guy has been a solid starting safety for the Mountaineers. Now in his 8th year, he is dominating on the field this season when it comes to pass coverage. HE gave up 116 receptions the last three years, and this year in seven games has only given up 12. He has 16 passes defended, where his career high for a whole season is 19. The season record (27) for defended passes was set last year, at this pace Gaddis will break it easy. I did get these guys straightened out though. I pointed out he is probably going to end up with less then half of his career high tackles he had last year, and that he only has 1 INT. So he hasn’t really been Superman on the field, maybe he is just watching more film. They still thought he was a prick though.
Q. Who do I have to blow the get the Beasts to win some f**king games?
I got this question from a little firecracker in about her late 60’s, I would guess. I think she wanted me to say me, and I did. Afterwards I broke it to her easy, I can’t get them wins now, but give it another 2 seasons or so and this team should be contending. I understand her frustration, and it’s hard to let people know there is no quick fix. After 4 straight double-digit win seasons, the West Virginia Beasts have 4 total wins in the last 3 ½ seasons. It can’t be easy. Still the future is clearly bright. Rookie QB Chad Harding has had some rough times, but every rookie QB will. He has shown some talent, and will get only better. They also have RB Nicky Kersey, one heck of a RB. He is having a career year right now, and I don’t think Harding being the QB now is just a coincidence, they will make for a good pairing down the road. The defense has a stud now too, 2nd round LB Carlton Nitschke is leading the team in tackles. I think some time to grow as a team and individuals, and a couple more players added, especially at CB, and they can get back to winning.
Good news, or bad if you didn't like this article. I have millions of these questions and have decided this will be my fall back article when I am running low on other things to write about. I have no set number of articles I want to put out there, but I am thinking this should end up being a weekly thing. I like it, so you are stuck with it.
Adios Muchachos.
Q. Why are the Mules still giving the ball to FB Sheldon Mendez?
This kid with big ears (no wonder he’s a Mules fan) from Jackson, TN asked me this. He worked at an Arbys there, and since I didn’t want snot in my roast beef sandwich I tried to humor him some. I see his point though. Several years back when Mendez was the only guy who could manage over 3 yards a carry it worked. Now though, they have Scott Fortune, a #1 overall pick a few years back. Fortune has over 1300 yards the last two years. He has his best YPC of his career right now at 4.57. All this and at the current pace his season totals carries is on pace to decrease for the second year in a row. It is true that Mendez’s carries are down, too. So is his YPC though, to under 3.0. In the red zone though, he has just as many carries as Fortune though, but his YPC there is half of Fortunes. I told this kid that maybe Fortune would have a rushing TD this season if Mendez was opening holes for him in the red zone, something Mendez is pretty good at doing when asked.
Q. Is Hugh Whiting going to be cut by the Houston Renegades?
About half way between Lufkin, TX and Houston, TX is a town called Livingston. In this little town I had a guy pick me to give me a ride as I was heading out of Houston. After a 20 minute block of Lynard Skynard, he turned down the radio to talk football. He pointed out that Hugh Whiting, the Houston Renegades kicker, is having a horrible season. After 8 games he has made only 6 of 15 field goals, and is 1 of 9 from 40 yards plus. After a career high of 78.1% of kicks made last year, he is at 40% this year. OUCH! I guess it’s his luck that he has not cost Houston a game with one of these missed kicks. If that starts happening, I told this guy, then Houston may look to move him out of town quickly. Other then that though, it’s hard to say what Houston will do with the guy.
Q. Do you think that prick, Bryant Gaddis, is on that HGH stuff or something?
Ok, sorry for those of you who are not Lawrence, Newark, or Orlando fans. Those guys just do not like Gaddis. Gaddis is of course a Vermont player, their free safety. I think it was a Lawrence fan who asked me this question, but I think a Newark fan asked me a couple days later. So they both get credit. On to Gaddis though. For seven years the guy has been a solid starting safety for the Mountaineers. Now in his 8th year, he is dominating on the field this season when it comes to pass coverage. HE gave up 116 receptions the last three years, and this year in seven games has only given up 12. He has 16 passes defended, where his career high for a whole season is 19. The season record (27) for defended passes was set last year, at this pace Gaddis will break it easy. I did get these guys straightened out though. I pointed out he is probably going to end up with less then half of his career high tackles he had last year, and that he only has 1 INT. So he hasn’t really been Superman on the field, maybe he is just watching more film. They still thought he was a prick though.
Q. Who do I have to blow the get the Beasts to win some f**king games?
I got this question from a little firecracker in about her late 60’s, I would guess. I think she wanted me to say me, and I did. Afterwards I broke it to her easy, I can’t get them wins now, but give it another 2 seasons or so and this team should be contending. I understand her frustration, and it’s hard to let people know there is no quick fix. After 4 straight double-digit win seasons, the West Virginia Beasts have 4 total wins in the last 3 ½ seasons. It can’t be easy. Still the future is clearly bright. Rookie QB Chad Harding has had some rough times, but every rookie QB will. He has shown some talent, and will get only better. They also have RB Nicky Kersey, one heck of a RB. He is having a career year right now, and I don’t think Harding being the QB now is just a coincidence, they will make for a good pairing down the road. The defense has a stud now too, 2nd round LB Carlton Nitschke is leading the team in tackles. I think some time to grow as a team and individuals, and a couple more players added, especially at CB, and they can get back to winning.
Good news, or bad if you didn't like this article. I have millions of these questions and have decided this will be my fall back article when I am running low on other things to write about. I have no set number of articles I want to put out there, but I am thinking this should end up being a weekly thing. I like it, so you are stuck with it.
Adios Muchachos.



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