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Well, the allocation draft is over and Iowa City officially has a professional football team. Well, kinda.
The owner of the Iowa City Snipe Hunters (ICSH) is none other than the Millionare Pig Farmer, Whiskey
Tango (WT). The funniest thing about WT is that he's the only one who doesn't think it's crazy to have
voices in your head that say, "If you build it, they will come. . .
The ICSH's will be playing in a recently renovated stadium that was a auction house for live stock. The
stadium is aptly named, Pig Pen Stadium. With a capacity of 75,000, you have to wonder if WT actually
checked the population of Iowa City, which is currenty hovering around 100k.
The stadium does have a pretty good parking lot, for a reasonable fee, low ticket prices, and the best
fertilized grass in the Imperial Football Leugue.
But on to the important stuff, how will the Snipe Hunter's do this year?
Most reporters have them in the basement for the inagural year, but after watching the training camp,
I think you can push them into play off contention. How? The Plow.
The Plow is the second year running back from Penn State, Aubrey Beamer. Beamer already shows the skills
that could lead him into the hall of fame. Not only will he rush for 1500 yards this year, he could break
750 yards in the air if WT can find someone to throw him the ball. But we will get to the gun slinger later.
A 1500 yard back needs a good line to help him. And Beamer has it. The ICSH Offensive Line that may be
one of the best in conference. Led by LG James Clayton, Center Daniel Baker and RG Jason Downer will push
through Defensive Lineman right into the all star team. And watch for Rookie LT, Kevin Price to learn and develop
quickly into a Franchise Tackle.
The rest of the Iowa City offense is filled with a stud fullback in Michael Saucedo , and a trio of tight ends. While
the WRs are decent, it doesn't matter, because WT forgot to draft a QB. The closest thing IC has is the 16 year
Dario Runyon. I dont' know why this guy this guy is even playing yet. He obviously has enough money since
he has his own paramedic crew standing by 24/7. This guy has had so many cuncussions that Repetitive
Concussion Syndrome has been renamed Dario Disease.
Well at least he still play, sometimes. The Punter for the ICSHs is named Aaron Colbert. Adn when they say he
can't hit the broad side of the barn, they mean it. In fact, he couldn't hit it from the inside!. This guy is Charlie
Brown and Lucy combined into one uncoordinated freak show. He only actually conects foot to ball about 1 out
of 3 times. Fortunatly, Kicker Sherwood Hack has stepped up and will be handling punts during the preseason
and beyond. He is actually doing a pretty good job as of right now as well.
Defense wins games. I think in the ICSH game plan, WT will just be happy to have Defense not lose games.
The Hunters are going with a 3-4 since they just don't have the depth on the D-line to support 4 starters. On
the upside, David Day and Thomas Heilman are very solid inside LBs, but they may be asked to do too much
in the front seven.
The secondary is pretty good with former Air Force cadet FS, Franklin Trigg and Rookie SS Navy Ensign James Hovis
on anchor, no pun intended.
Earle Jordan is the only shining CB, but Stan Cagle could come up big, or bust who knows.
So all-in-all the Snipe Hunters look to have built for the future, but could catch a head of steam and make a run
for the playoffs. The best news is that Punter Aaron Colbert did find a productive spot on the team as a practice
dummy and is showing the early signs of Dario Disease which many believe may improve his kicking.
Snipe Hunter news, OUT!
The owner of the Iowa City Snipe Hunters (ICSH) is none other than the Millionare Pig Farmer, Whiskey
Tango (WT). The funniest thing about WT is that he's the only one who doesn't think it's crazy to have
voices in your head that say, "If you build it, they will come. . .
The ICSH's will be playing in a recently renovated stadium that was a auction house for live stock. The
stadium is aptly named, Pig Pen Stadium. With a capacity of 75,000, you have to wonder if WT actually
checked the population of Iowa City, which is currenty hovering around 100k.
The stadium does have a pretty good parking lot, for a reasonable fee, low ticket prices, and the best
fertilized grass in the Imperial Football Leugue.
But on to the important stuff, how will the Snipe Hunter's do this year?
Most reporters have them in the basement for the inagural year, but after watching the training camp,
I think you can push them into play off contention. How? The Plow.
The Plow is the second year running back from Penn State, Aubrey Beamer. Beamer already shows the skills
that could lead him into the hall of fame. Not only will he rush for 1500 yards this year, he could break
750 yards in the air if WT can find someone to throw him the ball. But we will get to the gun slinger later.
A 1500 yard back needs a good line to help him. And Beamer has it. The ICSH Offensive Line that may be
one of the best in conference. Led by LG James Clayton, Center Daniel Baker and RG Jason Downer will push
through Defensive Lineman right into the all star team. And watch for Rookie LT, Kevin Price to learn and develop
quickly into a Franchise Tackle.
The rest of the Iowa City offense is filled with a stud fullback in Michael Saucedo , and a trio of tight ends. While
the WRs are decent, it doesn't matter, because WT forgot to draft a QB. The closest thing IC has is the 16 year
Dario Runyon. I dont' know why this guy this guy is even playing yet. He obviously has enough money since
he has his own paramedic crew standing by 24/7. This guy has had so many cuncussions that Repetitive
Concussion Syndrome has been renamed Dario Disease.
Well at least he still play, sometimes. The Punter for the ICSHs is named Aaron Colbert. Adn when they say he
can't hit the broad side of the barn, they mean it. In fact, he couldn't hit it from the inside!. This guy is Charlie
Brown and Lucy combined into one uncoordinated freak show. He only actually conects foot to ball about 1 out
of 3 times. Fortunatly, Kicker Sherwood Hack has stepped up and will be handling punts during the preseason
and beyond. He is actually doing a pretty good job as of right now as well.
Defense wins games. I think in the ICSH game plan, WT will just be happy to have Defense not lose games.
The Hunters are going with a 3-4 since they just don't have the depth on the D-line to support 4 starters. On
the upside, David Day and Thomas Heilman are very solid inside LBs, but they may be asked to do too much
in the front seven.
The secondary is pretty good with former Air Force cadet FS, Franklin Trigg and Rookie SS Navy Ensign James Hovis
on anchor, no pun intended.
Earle Jordan is the only shining CB, but Stan Cagle could come up big, or bust who knows.
So all-in-all the Snipe Hunters look to have built for the future, but could catch a head of steam and make a run
for the playoffs. The best news is that Punter Aaron Colbert did find a productive spot on the team as a practice
dummy and is showing the early signs of Dario Disease which many believe may improve his kicking.
Snipe Hunter news, OUT!
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