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2005: Bobbi's Blitz Report Week 6
If shit with your girl is about to get major, make sure you have on clean undies. Skid marks are not sexy.
Columbia at Little Rock
*Game of the Week
Vegas point spread: Fire by 4
Bobbi's left boob pick: Fire by 6
Why?
I’m not hate’n on Little Rock. Ralph Given is off to his best start in 3 seasons and the Toads boast the 6th best passing game in the league. However, his team doesn’t look to run the ball well enough to keep the Fire off the field. Not being able to run and run well against the Fire is a recipe for disaster. Given can’t go head-to-head with Cartagena as he commands a knowledge of the passing game that parallels 50 Cent’s knowledge of running ‘hoes [trust me, I’m an authority on this one].
On paper they match-up well. Both teams are in the top 10 for 3rd down conversions and do well in getting their opponents off the field. Columbia pimps a sick a pass defense (194/game) but have only gotten 7 sacks so far this year. Little Rock gives it up through the air (233/game) and hasn’t faired much better with the pass rush (9 sacks). Everything looks stacked in Columbia’s favor but home field. I think the Toads will play very strong but Columbia’s half time adjustments will lead to victory.
Prediction:
Fire 31 Toads 24
Look for key play in the 3rd quarter that puts the Fire on top for good in this one
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Oakland at Vermont
Vegas point spread: Oakland by 1
Bobbi's right boob pick: Vermont by 7
Why?
I have to be crazy picking against the best offense in the game, right? Oakland has been on a tear since backing up their off-season smack and beating SLC in their crib. Vermont has quietly put together a 3-1 record and has done it with a balanced offense and a KILLER D. See if you can you believe this stat? ‘Neers give up only 149 yards/game through the air but are a little soft on the rush D (132/game).
I’m thinking Oakland will come with the same attack. Young gunner Gene Hamilton is the real deal and he’s got the most talented set of weapons in the league. That being said, I’m curious how this offense will do against such a dominant passing defense. If Oakland is grounded, we may see Connell have one of the biggest games of his short career.
Prediction:
Mountaineers 35 Assassins 28
One of the few times you’ll see Oakland struggle this season on their way to their first postseason appearance.
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Dakota at Tulsa
Vegas point spread: Dakota by 4
Bobbi's Coochie Call: Tulsa
Why?
It’s hard to go against a Dakota team that has been fighting hard but Tulsa has been underachieving this season and Sunday will find them with a chip on there shoulders and a Spirit team that won’t know what hit them.
Let’s look at the numbers. Tulsa is bringing the wood shutting down the passing game but they can’t get sacks (only 2 so far, but that changes Sunday). Dakota prefers the run but you have to pass effectively to win in the IFL and that’s going to be the difference here. Dakota WILL pass effectively BUT that’s going to force Tulsa to put the game in Devon Taylor’s (very capable…big ole…hold Bobbi’s entire ass…) hands and I don’t like Dakota’s chances if the game goes to the air.
Prediction:
Tornadoes 26 Spirit 17
Player Of the Game: Devon Taylor
Baby Daddy List (Hot Players – Guys Who Came With It Last Week
QB Nigel Booker – 17 TDs and damn near 1600 yards – had 5 last week
QB Jerry St Clair – Young and gifted – needs weapons
QB Julian Cartagena – Best. Will likely break the single season passing and TD record.
QB Gene Hamilton – 12 TDs, 107 QB Rating, 64.9 Completion percentage. He’s in his second season (yikes)
RB David Rodrigez – Under-rated but highly endorsed by the baddest bitch in the IFL
RB Dwight Flynn – 34 year old running back that has beaten Columbia and Oakland
WR Grady Gomez - 4.3 speed and the ability to get open a lot
WR Scott Scharf - Wears Gomez’ number could be just as good
Bitch-Asses (Players That Had Some Bad Games Last Week – No Ass For You)
QB Nicky Teague – Dude has a 38.5 QB Rating. I got a dildo with better numbers
QB Milan Costanzo - QB’s should not be throwing 3 or more INTs in back-to-back games
RB Alan Crespo –Repeat after me rookie. “Hold on to the rock like Bobbi holds on to a…”
WR Ed Gaylor - Opps I dropped the catch …again!!!
CB Matthew McWhorter – Help, my man is open…again!!!
If shit with your girl is about to get major, make sure you have on clean undies. Skid marks are not sexy.
Columbia at Little Rock
*Game of the Week
Vegas point spread: Fire by 4
Bobbi's left boob pick: Fire by 6
Why?
I’m not hate’n on Little Rock. Ralph Given is off to his best start in 3 seasons and the Toads boast the 6th best passing game in the league. However, his team doesn’t look to run the ball well enough to keep the Fire off the field. Not being able to run and run well against the Fire is a recipe for disaster. Given can’t go head-to-head with Cartagena as he commands a knowledge of the passing game that parallels 50 Cent’s knowledge of running ‘hoes [trust me, I’m an authority on this one].
On paper they match-up well. Both teams are in the top 10 for 3rd down conversions and do well in getting their opponents off the field. Columbia pimps a sick a pass defense (194/game) but have only gotten 7 sacks so far this year. Little Rock gives it up through the air (233/game) and hasn’t faired much better with the pass rush (9 sacks). Everything looks stacked in Columbia’s favor but home field. I think the Toads will play very strong but Columbia’s half time adjustments will lead to victory.
Prediction:
Fire 31 Toads 24
Look for key play in the 3rd quarter that puts the Fire on top for good in this one
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Oakland at Vermont
Vegas point spread: Oakland by 1
Bobbi's right boob pick: Vermont by 7
Why?
I have to be crazy picking against the best offense in the game, right? Oakland has been on a tear since backing up their off-season smack and beating SLC in their crib. Vermont has quietly put together a 3-1 record and has done it with a balanced offense and a KILLER D. See if you can you believe this stat? ‘Neers give up only 149 yards/game through the air but are a little soft on the rush D (132/game).
I’m thinking Oakland will come with the same attack. Young gunner Gene Hamilton is the real deal and he’s got the most talented set of weapons in the league. That being said, I’m curious how this offense will do against such a dominant passing defense. If Oakland is grounded, we may see Connell have one of the biggest games of his short career.
Prediction:
Mountaineers 35 Assassins 28
One of the few times you’ll see Oakland struggle this season on their way to their first postseason appearance.
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Dakota at Tulsa
Vegas point spread: Dakota by 4
Bobbi's Coochie Call: Tulsa
Why?
It’s hard to go against a Dakota team that has been fighting hard but Tulsa has been underachieving this season and Sunday will find them with a chip on there shoulders and a Spirit team that won’t know what hit them.
Let’s look at the numbers. Tulsa is bringing the wood shutting down the passing game but they can’t get sacks (only 2 so far, but that changes Sunday). Dakota prefers the run but you have to pass effectively to win in the IFL and that’s going to be the difference here. Dakota WILL pass effectively BUT that’s going to force Tulsa to put the game in Devon Taylor’s (very capable…big ole…hold Bobbi’s entire ass…) hands and I don’t like Dakota’s chances if the game goes to the air.
Prediction:
Tornadoes 26 Spirit 17
Player Of the Game: Devon Taylor
Baby Daddy List (Hot Players – Guys Who Came With It Last Week
QB Nigel Booker – 17 TDs and damn near 1600 yards – had 5 last week
QB Jerry St Clair – Young and gifted – needs weapons
QB Julian Cartagena – Best. Will likely break the single season passing and TD record.
QB Gene Hamilton – 12 TDs, 107 QB Rating, 64.9 Completion percentage. He’s in his second season (yikes)
RB David Rodrigez – Under-rated but highly endorsed by the baddest bitch in the IFL
RB Dwight Flynn – 34 year old running back that has beaten Columbia and Oakland
WR Grady Gomez - 4.3 speed and the ability to get open a lot
WR Scott Scharf - Wears Gomez’ number could be just as good
Bitch-Asses (Players That Had Some Bad Games Last Week – No Ass For You)
QB Nicky Teague – Dude has a 38.5 QB Rating. I got a dildo with better numbers
QB Milan Costanzo - QB’s should not be throwing 3 or more INTs in back-to-back games
RB Alan Crespo –Repeat after me rookie. “Hold on to the rock like Bobbi holds on to a…”
WR Ed Gaylor - Opps I dropped the catch …again!!!
CB Matthew McWhorter – Help, my man is open…again!!!
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