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Tulsa RB close to break rushing record

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  • Tulsa RB close to break rushing record

    *********FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE****************

    Time sensitive: Week 5

    "A cinderalla story in the IFL? A few weeks ago, John Byrnes was shooting his AK and bumping to Ice Cube's "today was a good day." In conjunction with Vic Mackey and his police units, we managed to secure his release in exchange for sensitive information for some players in the IFL. Now, needing just only 400 more carries at his current pace, he will shatter the single season rushing record of the IFL and establish his name forever in the record books.

    This story only brings national attention to our renown scouting department. Deployed domestically and abroad, our current scouting department led by Mike Tice operates at an annual budget of 10 million dollars, excluding kickbacks, money laundering deals, and loan-sharking.

    The program has considerable success at recruiting at-risk players running from the po-po, literally in many cases. Success stories in the LA counties of Watts and Compton domestically only highlight a portion of our sucess. Operating in 6 continents and in over 10 destablized nation states, the recruits we acquire from Haiti, Rwanda, and Somolia enrich the program even more.

    The core success of the program resides in our "2 rags 2 riches" system. If they do not make the team, we actively pimp them out as runners to gain experience for local crime syndicates. Mentoring comes from former NFL-er Nate Newton to guide their choices in life, as in what kind of drugs bring the most profit. As a two-fold management system, this has brought the program unparallel success.

    The success of John Byrnes re-affrims our commitment to exploit unskilled athletic youths. Lets give a round of applause to this social enrichment program."

    For further information contact Tulsa Public Relations Saeed Al-Sahaf @

    1-800-TEX-LOSE
    You can\'t diss me, I own you

  • #2
    I'm pulling for him!
    *crosses fingers*
    "Larry Deasoooooooooooooooooon" -- Phil Jenkins

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    • #3
      Johnson, you are one wacked mofo. And it takes something special to stand out from some of these guys. I like it though.....
      My banner is bigger and prettier and cooler then yours. I choose not to show it so your feelings do not get hurt.

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