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Assassins Arrive In Texas

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  • Assassins Arrive In Texas

    Oakland Press, Oakland, Ca

    You would think after 3 days on a bus the players and coaches would be more then ready to get off..........right? WRONG. Our press crew was at Texas Stadium when the Oakland buses arrived, and we had no idea what we were about to witness.
    Camera man Jake Lovings describes the scene, "The buses pulled around the corner entering the lot, now, I didn't think they were the right buses, I mean, the thing was covered from top to bottom in mud, like they had been four-wheeling or something. There was one little space obviously wiped off, with what looked like someones underwear allowing the driver to see out. The buses looked like they had just been through a war. The tires were spares, and there was tree branches sticking out of windows.
    The doors opened and I think there was a contest on who got out first, because 37 men, not a one of them weighing less then 220, were all trying to jam out the door at one time. Beer bottles, what I was sure was party streemers, ballons, womens underwear...........you can't imagine the scene.
    RDE Derek Nelson made it out first(like thats a suprise), wearing a pair of bulls horns on his head. Next out was Defense Player Of The Year, Ken Allmon with a pack of cards stuck to his head, the scene was just chaos. Players laughing and pushing each other into the bus door, man, it was really something!"
    We got a chance to speak to RB Wesley Connell, " Texas fucking rules, I am going to bribe the fucking scheduling committee to hook this shit up again next year!"
    More from Texas on Sunday, has the Oakland Assassins hit the field with a 2-0 record to play an angry 0-2 Texas squad.

    The "sober" Assassins take a look at the field.


  • #2
    Your shit is weak. That is a picture of Houston not Dallas. Your press corps and bus crews suck as much as your team and ownership......
    GM Wichita Outlaws

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    • #3
      Re: Assassins Arrive In Texas

      Originally posted by Jave
      there was a contest on who got out first, because 37 men, not a one of them weighing less then 220, were all trying to jam out the door at one time. Beer bottles, what I was sure was party streemers, ballons, womens underwear...........you can't imagine the scene.
      RDE Derek Nelson made it out first(like thats a suprise), wearing a pair
      sigpic

      Mules of Fame
      Otis 'Opie' Peterson

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      • #4
        Your shit is weak. That is a picture of Houston not Dallas. Your press corps and bus crews suck as much as your team and ownership......
        Says with confidence as he quickly checks his schedule to make sure he doesn't have to play Oakland.............

        And oh yea..........it's sad you scoured the pic and saw the tiny bit of horns behind the players to determine what stadium it was.
        The cowgirls suck, nothing you can do about that, sorry for you.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Jave
          Your shit is weak. That is a picture of Houston not Dallas. Your press corps and bus crews suck as much as your team and ownership......
          Says with confidence as he quickly checks his schedule to make sure he doesn't have to play Oakland.............

          And oh yea..........it's sad you scoured the pic and saw the tiny bit of horns behind the players to determine what stadium it was.
          The cowgirls suck, nothing you can do about that, sorry for you.
          No scouring needed. Red and blue seats were the giveaway. We shall see about who sucks when the Boys visit the battery chuckers early this year. And as far as schedule, youre right. Only way to see you is playoffs and you wont make them.
          GM Wichita Outlaws

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