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*******FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**********
Time sensitive: Week 2
"We as a team will introduce a new level of responsibility. The 1960s introduced the nuclear family concept into households. We will redefine that ideal into Tulsa branded football, with the same heirarchy of respect. Today, we embark on a new era. No longer can high salary veterans or highly drafted rookies be set into a privliged class. Larry Bird is not walking through those front doors, ladies and gentlemen. As a result of these changes, drastic measures were put in place throught the league office. No player is sheltered from scrutiny. This may be a shock to all in the Tulsa family--All-universe RB Roger Wolf was released today. Please, a moment of silence."
"In 1 game played, he displayed his skills and tenacity. What didn't show up in the stat sheets is tantamount to the level of respect he has gathered from official scorekeepers around the league. The Elias Bureau has called him an unknown product. --Wow, such praise--But because we lost, we need to set an example and decided to part ways with this ginormous talent. Front office football is a business. Virtual money is important even though it has no monetary value in real life. Nevertheless, each loss will result in one player released from the current roster, a bigger name than the previous. We cannot fathom what the next great talent will be purged from our roster, but to maintain the fine equilibrium between pretender and contender, these measure are set in place as of today."
For further information contact Tulsa Public Relations Saeed Al-Sahaf @
1-800-FUC-KBOS
Time sensitive: Week 2
"We as a team will introduce a new level of responsibility. The 1960s introduced the nuclear family concept into households. We will redefine that ideal into Tulsa branded football, with the same heirarchy of respect. Today, we embark on a new era. No longer can high salary veterans or highly drafted rookies be set into a privliged class. Larry Bird is not walking through those front doors, ladies and gentlemen. As a result of these changes, drastic measures were put in place throught the league office. No player is sheltered from scrutiny. This may be a shock to all in the Tulsa family--All-universe RB Roger Wolf was released today. Please, a moment of silence."
"In 1 game played, he displayed his skills and tenacity. What didn't show up in the stat sheets is tantamount to the level of respect he has gathered from official scorekeepers around the league. The Elias Bureau has called him an unknown product. --Wow, such praise--But because we lost, we need to set an example and decided to part ways with this ginormous talent. Front office football is a business. Virtual money is important even though it has no monetary value in real life. Nevertheless, each loss will result in one player released from the current roster, a bigger name than the previous. We cannot fathom what the next great talent will be purged from our roster, but to maintain the fine equilibrium between pretender and contender, these measure are set in place as of today."
For further information contact Tulsa Public Relations Saeed Al-Sahaf @
1-800-FUC-KBOS
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