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Week 1 preview
The lines have been drawned, spewing forth Axe deoderant and sweaty jock strap smells. After the recent dousing by the IFL press, the tornadoes called for favors from their pagan mascot. Unforunately, Storm, the offical team mascot was out in Charles Xavier's mansion planning to stop the X-factor mutant government forces and could not conjure the cloud covers and tornadoes needed for opening day. In response, GM HammeringJohnson parsed through the transaction log and found two all-world players in P Patrick Lewis and OLB Greg Stevenson. This can only be a tribute to his double clicking skills as both players signed immediately after their import from kilobyte form. Who are these players? Let's take a closer look.
Newly hired PR man Saeed al-Sahaf talks about P Lewis skils. "Look, here is a 15 year veteran who has only been in the league record books for 2 years. That is a paradox, no? HA! Those 13 years were not wasted. Many people do not know this Lewis buddy is Ponce De Leon. Yes, the legendary Spanish charlatan. You will not underestimate this wily veteran. Football people talk about veteran instinct? When you have a player thas been travel back in time, time ceases to be an adequate expression of his cognizance."
Not neglected is the pickup of OLB Stevenson. Saeed al-Sahaf notes the scouting trip that took him to the wilderness of Oklahoma City to glance a fleeting glimpse of this elusive prospect. "We had him in our sights in the IFL slavery draft. Unfortunately, we lost track of him through the numbing meaningless numbers that the computers outputted. We thought we lost a good one. So I decided to go on a trip with Eric Jean, our defensive front leader, to stake out his habitat. We were shocked as this Stevenson possessed the elusive qualities of a chameleon. It was night time and we didn't forsee that this Stevenson creature blending in with his environment. We finally cornered him at a Popeye's and watch him devour his game. Like the fiercest beast in all African savannahs, he used his talon like arms to strip off the skin and eat the pure white meat of his catch. We had wondered why his game had been prepared in a bucket, but we did not press with further debate. Any player that can devour his opposition like that, Tulsa welcome with open arms."
With two potential pro-bowl players acquired in such a short, relative span, the Tornadoes have notify the Toads and the rest of the IFL they mean serious business.
The lines have been drawned, spewing forth Axe deoderant and sweaty jock strap smells. After the recent dousing by the IFL press, the tornadoes called for favors from their pagan mascot. Unforunately, Storm, the offical team mascot was out in Charles Xavier's mansion planning to stop the X-factor mutant government forces and could not conjure the cloud covers and tornadoes needed for opening day. In response, GM HammeringJohnson parsed through the transaction log and found two all-world players in P Patrick Lewis and OLB Greg Stevenson. This can only be a tribute to his double clicking skills as both players signed immediately after their import from kilobyte form. Who are these players? Let's take a closer look.
Newly hired PR man Saeed al-Sahaf talks about P Lewis skils. "Look, here is a 15 year veteran who has only been in the league record books for 2 years. That is a paradox, no? HA! Those 13 years were not wasted. Many people do not know this Lewis buddy is Ponce De Leon. Yes, the legendary Spanish charlatan. You will not underestimate this wily veteran. Football people talk about veteran instinct? When you have a player thas been travel back in time, time ceases to be an adequate expression of his cognizance."
Not neglected is the pickup of OLB Stevenson. Saeed al-Sahaf notes the scouting trip that took him to the wilderness of Oklahoma City to glance a fleeting glimpse of this elusive prospect. "We had him in our sights in the IFL slavery draft. Unfortunately, we lost track of him through the numbing meaningless numbers that the computers outputted. We thought we lost a good one. So I decided to go on a trip with Eric Jean, our defensive front leader, to stake out his habitat. We were shocked as this Stevenson possessed the elusive qualities of a chameleon. It was night time and we didn't forsee that this Stevenson creature blending in with his environment. We finally cornered him at a Popeye's and watch him devour his game. Like the fiercest beast in all African savannahs, he used his talon like arms to strip off the skin and eat the pure white meat of his catch. We had wondered why his game had been prepared in a bucket, but we did not press with further debate. Any player that can devour his opposition like that, Tulsa welcome with open arms."
With two potential pro-bowl players acquired in such a short, relative span, the Tornadoes have notify the Toads and the rest of the IFL they mean serious business.
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