FTB: Hell Atlantic

[Suicane]

Are you gay?

Why are you gay?

When did you become gay?

Who do you want to become gay with?

If SD wanted to be gay with you, would you approve and buy him some wine?

Why would the Atlantic Ocean kick the Pacific Oceans ass if they fought, would the Atlantic Ocean have the advantage of not living in a warm, cushy climate it's whole life, those giving it a harder edge when push came to shove?

Wheelbarow or Wagon?

If you could pick any actor to play you in the movie of your life, who would it be? And don't say Richard Grieco.

Better Jets helmets, 1969 or 1985?

Better object of depraved sexual fantasy, Kelly Ripa or Kathy Lee Gifford?

[Hell Atlantic]

Are you gay?

No. i'm actually starting to not like gays. there was a time when i was gay-neutral, that is, i took an out-of-site, out of mind outlook on mick faggers. now, i'm just done with it. i'm tired of all these reality tv shows like "who wants to be america's next top model" or project runway" or Oscar awards pre-shows or whatever parading around these blatant over the top cock suckers. but anyway, i'm tired of this PC world we live in where we have to pretend these sub-humans are completely normal. you heard it here first - Tyra Banks is a lesbian. there, i said it. she likes vagina and isn't a fan of the cock. i can add. 2+2=4.




Why are you gay?

there was a point when i had suicidal thoughts during college(who hasn't?), but overall i have a house, married to a great woman and have a lot of friends, so i have a lot to be merry about. i am starting to get tired of being a chronic masturbator though. since my hours at work were changed to 10-6, i have a lot of personal time in the morning and i unfortunately have too often used that time for jacking, then i have nite jacking plus fornication with my wife. there's like an insignificant amount of ejaculatory expression these days. i really like when i haven't done it in a couple days, things have had time to restock down there and then i have one nite all to myself and i catch up on my rotation of sites and that first pop is like dynamite. i can actually feel it travelling up my vas deferens and splitting open my urethral opening as it rushes to get out.


When did you become gay?

hey girlfriend, i was always a happy kid. speaking of girlfriend, man - have you seen/heard Avril Lavigne's new single "Girlfriend"? i always thought she was bangable and was one trip to the dentist away from being top 20 material, but she sounds so young in that song and looks so bangably delicious in that video i'm thisclose to jacking off to what i imagine would be her cleanly and thoroughly shaven pre-pubescent looking vagina. i bet her nips are sooo freaking pointy. what the hell is she doing with thar reject from that bad Blink 182 wannabe band Sum 41? anyway, i'm not really into canadians but if i had a top 5 list of hot canadians i think i have to put her at the top. she really looks like her ass smells like baby powder.

Who do you want to become gay with?

i want to pretend i'm a lesbian and be gay with Jessica Alba. and speaking of who i think is gay - Apollo Ohno from Dancing with the Stars (the Olympian) is gay. i don't know if he came out of the closet, but if he's still in there then i'm going on record as saying he loves having balls slapped across his face. i really want the girl he's partnered up with to be naked and slap me and try to beat me up. being a submissive person isn't in my nature, but the thought of her and her pink tightly manicured vajayjay standing there and being rough with me and telling me i'm worthless and distugusting for wanting to put my penis inside her makes me really want to unleash on her. she should be on alert if she ever finds herself in Williston Park, New York. of course, after she's done beating up on me i want to start slapping her around. again, it's also not in my nature to be violently physical in bed, but i just want to smack her and make her cry and get turned on watching her mascara run down her hot face. i also want to punch her in her ass. i don't know what is erotic about that, but i saw her do one dance and i just want to punch it. that's not street talk for anal sex. i want to make an actual fist and punch her ass.


If SD wanted to be gay with you, would you approve and buy him some wine?

i don't know what a mandingo actually is, but i think he has one so i don't want to fuck with that.


Why would the Atlantic Ocean kick the Pacific Oceans ass if they fought, would the Atlantic Ocean have the advantage of not living in a warm, cushy climate it's whole life, those giving it a harder edge when push came to shove?

Evolution and experience. the Atlantic side of things is the land of the plunderers - the Vikings. the dominance of empires like Britain. Explorers. most of mankind's history and warfare have taken place in the Atlantic side. Atlantic Ocean has seen much and much blood has been poured into it. but Pacific Ocean has one ace up its sleeve.

Southern Cali. hooooooo

Wheelbarow or Wagon?

i don't know what either of those are. i think i know what the wheelbarrow is referring to, so i select that one. i definitely don't know what the wagon is, but if the wheelbarrow is what i envision it is then i would love that position. chicks are so cute when they turn over and face down and their butts are right side up. so smackably cute. i'm good friends with my wife's butt, although i'm not allowed to boogie in the butt. download that song, btw - Boogie In The Butt.

If you could pick any actor to play you in the movie of your life, who would it be? And don't say Richard Grieco.

i've been told many many many times (10+ times) i look like Vin Diesel so i'll resurrect his spiraling career and cast him. Vin Diesel, yeesh, how do you go from being badass in The Fast and The Furious to that Nanny movie he did. did a nanny movie work for Hulk Hogan? nooooo. did it work for Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarden Cop? noooo (can we agree that KC was the beginning of the end of his career?) and seriously - what the fuck is up with Ice Cube trying to out-Vin Diesel Vin Diesel? Ice Cube did XXX-State of the Union after Vin did the first XXX movie. then Ice Cube went and did Are We There Yet after seeing Vin do that Nanny movie. stop following Vin's movies. and i don't respect Ice Cube as an actor. he doesn't even act. all he does is that fucking annoying snarl face. Memo to Ice Cube - Billy Idol wants the licensing fees for his snarl face. and what's up with Richard Grieco? what does he do these days? does he sell insurance? talk about "the good ole days" with the buddies from the office?


Better Jets helmets, 1969 or 1985?

i don't like the Jets. they for all intents and purposes should be called the New Jersey Jets. i don't acknowledge them as a new york team anymore, they're up their with those mutants from upstate new york who cheer for the Bills, the Other NY football team. how do you decide to renew your lease (long term, mind you) with Jersey after almost being able to land a team in Manhattan. i might've had to stop being a Giants fan if the Jets landed in NYC cuz football is my #1 sport and i've only been to 3 games my whole life. i'm a big fan of throwback uni's/helmets, but when you think about it the 80's Jets helmets are essentialy old school so i kinda like them both. i hate non-answers like that so i'll man up and actually choose one: the 1969 helmets.

Better object of depraved sexual fantasy, Kelly Ripa or Kathy Lee Gifford?

Kelly Ripa. i don't think she's going to age well. also, she acts a little too old for her age. a little too motherly. we had years of that from Kathy Lee always talking about Cody. mind you, i'm comparing younger, early 90's Kathy Lee with Kelly Ripa. Kathy Lee always struck me as someone who would withhold sex for an unnecessarily long time after an arguement. you always have to cast a cautious eye on people like that. it's not human to not need sex. we were animals before we became civilized. but yeah, Kelly Ripa, she looks like her tits will stay alert and perky for the next 12-15 years. but i'll be honest, neither really does anything for me, i lump them in the same boat as Mariah Carey and Julia Roberts and Jennifer Aniston, people who i think are non-sexual despite appearances. and i bet they all have disgusting looking vaginas. you know, those sloppy ones with the loose or hanging lips that look like they've been slashed. i like full puffy lips. that's me. i'm on that. this is 2007 and this is how i roll.

[Suicane]

Holy shit. You totaly took a bad 1 note joke I made and it turned it into something mildly interesting. Good job.

[sovstar]

i also want to punch her in her ass. i don't know what is erotic about that, but i saw her do one dance and i just want to punch it. that's not street talk for anal sex. i want to make an actual fist and punch her ass.

[Hell Atlantic]

LOL, this was pretty funny. i love reading old posts of mine. this was a random one.

[Cringer]

I missed this somehow. The bump is a welcome one.