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Twas the night before Christmas, and so much to tell,
‘Cause is its time for divisional madness in the IFL.
In Norfolk, Vipers’ helmets were hung by the lockers with care,
In hopes that game time versus the Renegades would soon come there.
Finger Lozier was home and snug in his bed,
Having visions of burning the Houston secondary
While his girlfriend spun on his “head”.
And Coach Mooberry in his boxers was taking a nap
After finishing a wicked game plan that would serve as his map.
When out on the street, he heard such a clatter,
That he sprang from his lounger to see what was the matter.
Away to the window, he flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon’s lavish beams gave luster to an unbelievable sight
of Nigel Booker and Wilford Timmerman, out for the night.
Each was dressed … with only a small wrapped package and a lonely pair of socks,
Dancing and prancing and singing to Justin Timberlake’s “dick-in-the-box.”
When, what to Mooberry’s wandering eye should appear,
Was an Enterprise SUV rental, racing so near.
With a large plump driver, so lively and merry,
He knew in a moment that it must be the Detroit coaching fairy.
He thought to himself, “Could the rumor be true?
Yes, Houston was desperate and needed a clue;
But why did they hire Joe Cullen to slow down his Viper crew?"
On a short leave from the Lions, Coach Joe called them by name
While trying his best to conceal his own birthday suit fame.
“Now Booker. Now Timmerman.
What the F are you doing?
I simply cannot believe this bullshit is brewing.
Wendy’s closes, promptly at one,
And I need some fries and a coke
Before we put on some clothes.
So lets dash away, dash away all
before ESPN or others see that our things are so small.”
After the visions of the night had vanished away,
An amused Coach Mooberry designed a new play.
With a twinkle in his eye, he would unveil it at ten.
And if lucky, its trick would seal him a win.
Happy at last, he sprang to his feet.
Knowing full well that his job was complete
he grinned in the mirror while brushing his teeth.
But before climbing in bed,
he stopped by the window,
where he smiled so softly and said,
“What a special night with its inglorious awe,
To serve as inspiration for my ‘dick-in-the-box draw’.
Now I know that there is victory in sight.
So, I wish Happy Christmas to all …
The Vipers will win and to all a good night.”
Inspiration provided by a little holiday cheer, Houston and SNL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dmVU08zVpA
‘Cause is its time for divisional madness in the IFL.
In Norfolk, Vipers’ helmets were hung by the lockers with care,
In hopes that game time versus the Renegades would soon come there.
Finger Lozier was home and snug in his bed,
Having visions of burning the Houston secondary
While his girlfriend spun on his “head”.
And Coach Mooberry in his boxers was taking a nap
After finishing a wicked game plan that would serve as his map.
When out on the street, he heard such a clatter,
That he sprang from his lounger to see what was the matter.
Away to the window, he flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon’s lavish beams gave luster to an unbelievable sight
of Nigel Booker and Wilford Timmerman, out for the night.
Each was dressed … with only a small wrapped package and a lonely pair of socks,
Dancing and prancing and singing to Justin Timberlake’s “dick-in-the-box.”
When, what to Mooberry’s wandering eye should appear,
Was an Enterprise SUV rental, racing so near.
With a large plump driver, so lively and merry,
He knew in a moment that it must be the Detroit coaching fairy.
He thought to himself, “Could the rumor be true?
Yes, Houston was desperate and needed a clue;
But why did they hire Joe Cullen to slow down his Viper crew?"
On a short leave from the Lions, Coach Joe called them by name
While trying his best to conceal his own birthday suit fame.
“Now Booker. Now Timmerman.
What the F are you doing?
I simply cannot believe this bullshit is brewing.
Wendy’s closes, promptly at one,
And I need some fries and a coke
Before we put on some clothes.
So lets dash away, dash away all
before ESPN or others see that our things are so small.”
After the visions of the night had vanished away,
An amused Coach Mooberry designed a new play.
With a twinkle in his eye, he would unveil it at ten.
And if lucky, its trick would seal him a win.
Happy at last, he sprang to his feet.
Knowing full well that his job was complete
he grinned in the mirror while brushing his teeth.
But before climbing in bed,
he stopped by the window,
where he smiled so softly and said,
“What a special night with its inglorious awe,
To serve as inspiration for my ‘dick-in-the-box draw’.
Now I know that there is victory in sight.
So, I wish Happy Christmas to all …
The Vipers will win and to all a good night.”
Inspiration provided by a little holiday cheer, Houston and SNL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dmVU08zVpA
]. That would be a huge Imperial Bowl match-up wouldn't it?
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