New Rules.

[Cringer]

First off, I am home. Now to the new rules.....

I am no longer the Commish, I am your Imperial Majesty. The Conference Presidents will beknown as Knights of the Roundtable. I am hoping these titles will get us some chicks on the side.

Next, if anyone ever attempts to move a team to Chicago I will change the name of Chicago to Shitcago, because that is what i call it. Because it is shit. I hate it, and not just because of the Bears. They expect me to have $3 in fucking change just to get off the freeway, and another $3 in change to get back on. If you are going to charge that much put a live person there. You jacked up the tolls, higher some people. Hate that town.

Number three, if I ever see any of you on the freeway driving in the left hand lane when there is no need (because you are not passing anyone), you will have to be punished. Since this is rule three you have three choices for punishment. 1) Your team will be made to go 0-16, and your #1 overall draft pick you get from this will be traded to Jave so he can draft a stud kicker. 2) I get to run you off the road and you can't tell the cops who did it. 3) I just pass you in the right lane and you make your wife/girlfriend (or Suicane in Jeff's case) flash me. Not just any flash, they must be on the glass, and I want some nipple playing.

Number four, if you know of any hot chicks who will be driving around drunk, has large boobies, and is dressed to kill, you have to tell her to show me the boobies. Because when this type of chick is driving next to me for 10 minutes, occasionally swerving towards me, it pisses me off I put up with such a risk and never get shown anything. I am not doing this job for the love of the scenery of suburban Dallas damnit!

I think that is it for new league rules right now. I may add more later.

[VitoStallion]

Lauging My Motherfucking Ass Off!!!

[Suicane]

[Cringer]

Another new rule I forgot earlier.

All members of the league must learn to speak Swedish. We will start taking lessons, and all league discussions will then be conducted in Swedish. We don't want to strip Coder of his native language which is slowly being eroded away in his home country by the expanded use of english. By forcing Coder to use english here we are really harming an entire country. We don't want to be invaded by Sweden, so we must do this.*

One more rule. We will have to get together and decide as a league if we will support or not, the continuation of the monarchy in Sweden. There is talk about getting rid of it. I will way in my opinion now.....Seeing we are the Imperial Football League, we should support the continuation of the monarchy.*





*These rules were deemed neccesary after I listened to a half hour of Radio Sweden on the World Radio channel on Sirius. The Swedish lady I heard seemed very upset about the errosion of her language. Radio Czecheslovakia (sp?) was after that, but I turned the channel, so be thankfully you only have to learn one language.

[sovstar]

Czecheslovakia isn't a fricking country anymore. It's split up.

[Cringer]

Czecheslovakia isn't a fricking country anymore. It's split up.

Don't tell me, tell the people who do Radio Czeckeslovakia. :?

Or I could be wrong and it was Radio Hungry or something like that. Hell, I have been up for 36 hours, with only 5 hours of sleep before that. Same old excuse but it's true.....

[Suicane]

What was the swedish lady wearing?

[Cringer]

What was the swedish lady wearing?

I guessed a bikini, but I couldn't see her on the radio so I will never know.

[Suicane]

Ill ask Coder, he probably knows her.

[Coder]

Hear Hear!

I always knew Cringer was a man in support of the blue blood! As things would have it, I believe I could very well be 9456th in succession to the Swedish throne, as my ancestor, the loose and willing Inga Reis, put out for King Charles the tenth back in the late 1600s when he was travelling through the forests of Värmland (please note the a).

[Jave]

I have a rule. How about no longer allowing the asshole truckers who insist on driving 65 in the fast lane on I-10 for 22 miles with 88 cars getting backed up behind then. And the prick just drives fast enough to not allow anyone to actually pass them, staying side by side a car or another truck in the slow lane.
I see that shit every day and it adds 15-20 minutes to my already long ass drive to work.

[Cringer]

I have a rule. How about no longer allowing the asshole truckers who insist on driving 65 in the fast lane on I-10 for 22 miles with 88 cars getting backed up behind then. And the prick just drives fast enough to not allow anyone to actually pass them, staying side by side a car or another truck in the slow lane.
I see that shit every day and it adds 15-20 minutes to my already long ass drive to work.

I will get stuck like that sometimes. And I do mean stuck. There is an actual reason behind it you know. Trucks have governors on the engines, which depending on the company will or will not be set to a certian speed to control fuel mileage. 65 is a popular speed to have it set at. My company has a floating range, 65-69 mph. If we maintain a certian mpg then the faster we can go, in 1 mph increments.

So you see, a truck that can only go 66 comes up on a truck going 65, or a car, and it will take a while to pass. Or the worst is you move over to give oncoming traffic a place to merge into, and then you get stuck in the left lane because some jackass in the right lane sits next to you and doesn't move. Meanwhile there are people behind you that start wanting around you, and people behind the jackass next to you who won't move.

The whole thing sucks really. Because if I come up on a truck I barely move faster then, I will usually delay passing as long as possible until there is no traffic coming. Or sometimes you get a dumbass in a car who is going slow so you go to pass them, and then the fuckers speed up on you, and already going as fast as I can I am now screwed.

Anyways, I understand how it's annoying, but they don't do it on purpose. They just can't go faster. There really shouldn't be speed control, it blows and doesn't save as much fuel as companies think, IMO.

Ok, sorry but had to answer that. On to the games.

[Jave]

Or sometimes you get a dumbass in a car who is going slow so you go to pass them, and then the fuckers speed up on you, and already going as fast as I can I am now screwed.

Hahaha, yea, I do see that to. When you spend 3 hours a day on the road(while nothing for you, thats a long ass drive for most of us), I have seen it all. Most truckers are cool as hell. I can't imagine having to put up with some of the shit they do, all day, every day. I don't envy ya all.

There are some real dumb ass drivers out there to. Is it just me, or is 99.6% of the asshole drivers out there, you can spot because they all drive pickups? They all think they are fucking NASCAR drivers, driving 110 down the freeway. There will be like, exactly 7 feet between me and the person in front of me, and they will come up on me doing 100, and then jack in front of me, with like inches to spare, then hit their brakes. Ahhh, I could go on and on...........

[roadrash]

Or sometimes you get a dumbass in a car who is going slow so you go to pass them, and then the fuckers speed up on you, and already going as fast as I can I am now screwed.

There are some real dumb ass drivers out there to. Is it just me, or is 99.6% of the asshole drivers out there, you can spot because they all drive pickups?

Actually, the worst drivers are guys in mini vans. I have an hour commute each way to work. And at least once a day I get either cut off by a guy in a minivan who wants to try to prove to me that he still has his balls. Seeing a minivan in my car is like seeing a roadside bomb in Iraq in a Hummer.

[Matt]

On to the games.

Loren must've disrupted the schedule.