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Hey folks, how yas doin this week? My name is Tony, "Fat" Tony to be precise, not just cause of my girth, but cause of my wallet, it's big and fat, know what im sayin? Ha Ha. Ok, anyways. I been contracted by da people here in da IFL to help all yalls out there make a little moolah on da side. How am I, "Fat" Tony Pacino gonna do dat? I'll tell ya how, by giving you da inside information on these weeks bettin lines that Vegas don't want ya ta know about. So I'm gonna tell ya where ta lay da odds and wether or not ta bet tha house on it. And when ya comes back on here on Monday with a fat wallet ya don't even gots ta thank me, I does this out of tha kindness of my own heart, Fugitaboutit.
Alright, lets start with my A+ Primo play of the week, sweeter than mamas Spaghetti sauce,
more delicious than Monica Bellucci....ok, lets not get out of hand here.
Our first pick is easy, so easy that I wonder what Vegas is doing, are they trying to lose money?@!
St. Louis is an 8 point underdog at home against Columbia, St. Louis lost on the road last to week, to a powerhouse team by 10 points, my point? Yo, da Cardinals don't lose big, and they aint gonna lose big this eeter, in fact, I might even put some moolah on the moneyline cause Fat Tony thinks they gonna win this game outright, knowwhatimsayin? Listen, da fire is a good team, real good, but they aint 8 points better than St. Louis in St. Louis with playoff dreams on da line for da Cardinals, got it? Good. Lay some dough on da Birds and collect yer winnings on Monday fancypants, and tell em Fat Tony sent ya.
My 2nd game of the week is almost as easy, it's like a crippled kid fighting with a retarded kid, it may sound even, but when ya analyze it, yo, the retarded kid can still walk, fugitaboutit. I'm talking about Texas vs Little Rock. I don't care about nuttin else, Texas has packed it in like J-Lo packs in carbs baby, dey aint got no QB and dey just wanna go home to da dry heat of Texas and milk some cows or something.
Little Rock aint so good, but dere easily 1 point better than Texas, especially at home. This is my super solid goombah pick of da week baby!@!
Pick #3 is my "What the F is Fat Tony Thinkin" Pick Of The Week. It's Cleveland gettin 2 points in Vancouver. Now I know what yas all are tinkin. "Has Fat Tony lost his fat mind"? HEY, What did I tells ya? Fat Tony aint gonna lets yas all down, trust me on this wills ya?
I realize Cleveland looks like day been playin in cement, but dey aint Jimmy Hoffa yo, they will be heard from again. And think this week is when we see a return to form for da Cleveland ballclub, dere run game matches up well against a liberal Vancouver run defense and I can see a return to dominance for this Cleveland club, don't doubt Tony, just dont do it, gots it?
Our final pick of the week is Fat Tonys upset special, and I'm gonna lay some smackers down on Oakland at Reno. Yo, Oakland loses alot, but they play tough, and I think this game goes 1 of 2 ways, either Oakland comes out and plays tough all the way and covers, or Reno gets up big and then relaxes and Oakland covers back door, yo, either way it's money in the bank paison.
So dere yas have it, Fat Tonys week 16 picks, do yourself a favor and head out see "Big Balls" Marino, he takes my action, and as long as ya don't have no fear of gittin yer legs broken, he'll take yours too. And when you wake up on Monday morning with a few extra grand in yer wallet, ya aints got ta thank me, im just doin my job, fugitaboutit!@!
Alright, lets start with my A+ Primo play of the week, sweeter than mamas Spaghetti sauce,
more delicious than Monica Bellucci....ok, lets not get out of hand here.
Our first pick is easy, so easy that I wonder what Vegas is doing, are they trying to lose money?@!
St. Louis is an 8 point underdog at home against Columbia, St. Louis lost on the road last to week, to a powerhouse team by 10 points, my point? Yo, da Cardinals don't lose big, and they aint gonna lose big this eeter, in fact, I might even put some moolah on the moneyline cause Fat Tony thinks they gonna win this game outright, knowwhatimsayin? Listen, da fire is a good team, real good, but they aint 8 points better than St. Louis in St. Louis with playoff dreams on da line for da Cardinals, got it? Good. Lay some dough on da Birds and collect yer winnings on Monday fancypants, and tell em Fat Tony sent ya.
My 2nd game of the week is almost as easy, it's like a crippled kid fighting with a retarded kid, it may sound even, but when ya analyze it, yo, the retarded kid can still walk, fugitaboutit. I'm talking about Texas vs Little Rock. I don't care about nuttin else, Texas has packed it in like J-Lo packs in carbs baby, dey aint got no QB and dey just wanna go home to da dry heat of Texas and milk some cows or something.
Little Rock aint so good, but dere easily 1 point better than Texas, especially at home. This is my super solid goombah pick of da week baby!@!
Pick #3 is my "What the F is Fat Tony Thinkin" Pick Of The Week. It's Cleveland gettin 2 points in Vancouver. Now I know what yas all are tinkin. "Has Fat Tony lost his fat mind"? HEY, What did I tells ya? Fat Tony aint gonna lets yas all down, trust me on this wills ya?
I realize Cleveland looks like day been playin in cement, but dey aint Jimmy Hoffa yo, they will be heard from again. And think this week is when we see a return to form for da Cleveland ballclub, dere run game matches up well against a liberal Vancouver run defense and I can see a return to dominance for this Cleveland club, don't doubt Tony, just dont do it, gots it?
Our final pick of the week is Fat Tonys upset special, and I'm gonna lay some smackers down on Oakland at Reno. Yo, Oakland loses alot, but they play tough, and I think this game goes 1 of 2 ways, either Oakland comes out and plays tough all the way and covers, or Reno gets up big and then relaxes and Oakland covers back door, yo, either way it's money in the bank paison.
So dere yas have it, Fat Tonys week 16 picks, do yourself a favor and head out see "Big Balls" Marino, he takes my action, and as long as ya don't have no fear of gittin yer legs broken, he'll take yours too. And when you wake up on Monday morning with a few extra grand in yer wallet, ya aints got ta thank me, im just doin my job, fugitaboutit!@!
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